dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
