the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
