Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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