Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
