It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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