you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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