Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
These tits shall not be calmed
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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