Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
