1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
