in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
