i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
