In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's blow job season.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
