I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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