so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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