she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
