If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
