I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
