She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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