I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
