My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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