She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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