Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
