I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
