Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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