if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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