Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I still have a little drunk in my system
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
