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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
