Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
