dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
