My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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