I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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