I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
