I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
