I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
