hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
