it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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