Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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