how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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