I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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