So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
my shit smells like andre
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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