plz talk dirty to me
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
