im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
