Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Someone shit on the floor
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
