so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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