im drinking this country out of the recession.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize