I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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