It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
