my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
