Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize