things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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