i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
