Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
