Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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