He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I stole a fireplace last night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
