Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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