there's paper in my vomit.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
