this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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