im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I supernannyed him into submission
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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