i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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