That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
