I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
