She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize