No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
