hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
her vagine was all disorganized.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
